Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Tribune suspends publication


A revolting turn of events today left an ugly stain in the Ode Street Tribune's newsroom.  Early this morning, the Tribune's journalist reported to management that the Tribune lacked ink to print the news.  He stated that appropriate supplies of ink could not be obtained until Jan. 2, 2013.

Furious with this news interrupting its holiday party, management immediately contacted its outside consultant hired to produce a report on newsroom re-invention, business model innovation, and bringing the Tribune into the 20th century.  The consultant agreed to produce a briefing on ink supply-chain management for senior Tribune executives.

Just after that supplementary work contract had been signed and the management holiday party resumed, a newsroom intern serving cocktails handed the Deputy Assistant Managing Editor a Cosmopolitan and asked, "What do you need ink for, anyway?"  The Deputy chortled and turned to the Assistant Managing Editor and said, "He asked what do we need ink for..."  The thoroughly drunk Managing Editor overheard that statement and shouted, slurring the syllables slightly, "Inkless printing!" Immediately everyone in the executive ballroom responded in unison with the shout, "Inkless printing!"  An ambitious and abrasive Associate Editor for Photography bolted from the ballroom and ran to the newsroom.  Bursting in, he hollered at the Tribune's journalist, "Inkless printing!"  

The Tribune's journalist took a slow, decisive chew on his cigar.  Then he stood up and hurled his half-chewed, saliva-drenched cigar across the newsroom.  It struck the wall just above a photo of the Tribune's founder in his first job as a newspaper carrier.  A thin line of brown liquid dribbled down the wall onto the photograph.

Only the Associate Editor for Photography and the Lead Headline Writer, who was acting as Managing Editor, were in the newsroom. The Tribune's journalist said to them in a quiet, menacing voice, "Those f@#$ing suits don't have a clue about real journalism."  Then he kicked over his wooden chair and stormed out of the newsroom, cussing and swearing.

The Tribune now has an immediate opening for an experienced, highly skilled journalist.  Publication of the Tribune will resume as soon as this position is filled.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Tribune journalist to work through holidays

After a difficult, three-hour meeting, the Ode Street Tribune's Managing Board voted 20 to 1 to require the Tribune's journalist to work through the holidays.  The Executive Editor pointed to the importance of cost-cutting measures and conserving resources to invest in the Tribune's new news distribution initiative.  She described the journalist's performance as satisfying, but not highly stimulating. This year the Tribune failed to win any Putzer Prizes.

The Managing Board's lone dissenting vote was Abigail Bigglesworth-Nigglesmith, Acting Deputy Assistant Manager of the Investigative Reporting Bureau.  She argued that the Tribune's journalist should be given New Year's Eve off as an unpaid holiday.  Drunkenness in the news room, she noted, does not serve the Tribune's reputation for sober reporting.  Emphasizing the importance of recognizing in some way the contribution of every Tribune employee, she urged the Board to award the journalist a fruitcake.  The Board declined, citing cost.

Many persons work through the holidays to help make ends meet, to provide necessary services, and to make the holidays especially festive and joyous for others.  The Tribune's journalist will be one such employee.  The Tribune's Lead Headline Writer, who will temporarily assume overall management responsibility during the holidays, is another.


The photo above shows a holiday display in Rosslyn at the corner of N. Lynn St. and Lee Highway.  The Rosslyn Business Improvement District sponsored the display.  When you see that drummer man, think of the Tribune's journalist, and enjoy your holidays!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

RAFOM holiday party

Every year the Radnor Ft. Myer Heights Civic Association (RAFOM) puts on a holiday party for low-income children in the neighborhood.  This year's holiday party took place on Dec. 7 at the site of Rosslyn's illustrious Mongolian school.  The holiday party attracted over 200 persons.  More than half that number were children under age 10.  Under the able direction of Sgt. Maj. Patricia Darneille, dinner and gifts, delivered by Santa Clause and his helpers, were offered to the children attending.  The 2nd District Police Team kept a careful watch on Santa to ensure that he did not attempt to pilfer any gifts.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

broccoli!

Shiny green broccoli crowns are now at the front of the produce section in Rosslyn's mysterious and intriguing underground Safeway.   They're priced at $1.69 per pound for Safeway Club members.  Broccoli is an excellent vegetable.  Celebrate the holidays with broccoli!

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This post is part of the Ode Street Tribune's Celebrating Vegetables series.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

lose holiday stress at Artisphere

Among family and friends, significant others and insignificant others, coworkers and bossy bosses, the holidays can be stressful.  You can lose that stress with a visit to Artisphere in Rosslyn.  Particularly therapeutic is Project 2012.002R, now showing on the glass window of Artisphere's Education Lab.  This installation projects life-sized silhouettes onto a translucent glass window.  Artisphere describes the installation thus:
Project 2012.002r explores emotional disconnectedness and the act of the search, addressing the experience of distance between people in society, both literal and social.
A few minutes sitting in front of Project 2012.002r will make you eager to jump into the chaotic social complexity of real-life holidays.

But don't delay in experiencing Project 2012.002r.  It will be at Artisphere only through Dec. 22, 2012.  All of Artisphere will be closed from Sunday, Dec. 23 through Tuesday, Jan. 1.


(review video of Project 2012.002R above)

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

snowfall accumulation expected to be low


The red holiday ball is hanging low on the weeping evergreen at the historically important Westermoreland Terrace Condominiums.   According to local folklore, a low-hanging ball means low total snow accumulation in the upcoming winter season.  Last year the ball accurately predicated low total snow accumulation.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Rosslyn has black squirrels

Black squirrels are more beautiful than their drab grey relatives.  Black squirrels are also much rarer.  The presence of a large black-squirrel population helps make Rosslyn attractive and interesting.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

W3FI in new, unbelievable world of communications

W3FI, a new installation at Artisphere, provokes thought about Rosslyn and cyberspace.  At night, "smartphones" project an eery glow into persons faces as they obliviously move through fashionable urban areas such as downtown Rosslyn.  With a mobile phone you can call about three billion persons around the world while hiking the Potomac River trail that starts in Rosslyn.  This is a new, unbelievable world of communications.  Many persons, perhaps even some living in Rosslyn, lack sense of physical place, physical presence, and the feel of newsprint in their hands.  That's a terrible loss.

W3FI encourages participants to recognize the connections between online and offline personas and collectives.  The exhibit offers free W3FI badges and a W3FI manifesto:
the W3FI project takes you through a journey of understanding.  Start to consider how your digital self (S3LF) impacts your everyday life.  Then see how connected all S3LFs are and how every action affects the S3LF of others; how their S3LF is part of the W3.  Finally, you move from a passive part of the W3 to becoming involved in the W3FI, the collective of S3LFs with the ability to lift each other up through positive interaction, encouragement, help, sharing, and understanding.
 The Ode Street Tribune strongly endorse the W3FI manifesto for Rosslyn. 

The world changes, and it will keep on changing.  The W3FI exhibit further strengthens Artisphere's reputation as a space where technology is artfully explored.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

record clothes collection for homeless

Rosslyn's winter clothes collection to help the homeless scored a record 100 bags of clothes this year.  Last year Rosslyn collected 65 bags of clothes.  According Jamal, the Rosslyn Business Improvement District's project leader, this year's total could go even higher with donations still to be received from area schools.  Twenty-three buildings in Rosslyn hosted clothes collection boxes over the past four weeks.  The collected clothes will serve the homeless through the Arlington Street People's Assistance Network (A-SPAN).


Light Up Rosslyn celebrated the successful end of the clothing collection and turned up Rosslyn's lights for the holidays.  Rosslyn's AllSpice Cafe and Catering, a small, locally owned business that could make your holiday entertaining much easier, served attendees hot chili and cider.  Arlington County Board member Jay Fisette rode a Capital Bikeshare bike from the Arlington County building down to Rosslyn to participate in the event.  Fisette noted how quick and easy getting to Rosslyn is.  At exactly 6:30pm, local leaders flipped a switch and at the same time rooftop lights across Rosslyn lit up.  This incredible technological feat more than made up for minor technical difficulties with podium speaker wiring at the event. Take time to enjoy the artistic lines of Rosslyn's skyline, now sparkling with lights.


The Ode Street Tribune has learned that Monday Properties' buildings in New York City has animated holiday lights.  Why doesn't Rosslyn also have animated lights on Monday Properties' buildings?  We speculate that, given Rosslyn's dynamism, such additional animation is considered unnecessary.  Moreover, New York City lacks the W3FI animation that played on Artisphere's iconic dome in conjunction with the Light Up Rosslyn ceremony.  New York City will have to set up its game if it wants to be considered Rosslyn on the Hudson.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Rosslyn lighting up

Excitement is building and lights are already starting to sparkle in anticipation of tomorrow night's annual Light Up Rosslyn Ceremony.   NewsChannel 8 Meteorologist Devon Lucie will host the ceremony under the WJLA Jumbotron in downtown Rosslyn at the corner of N. Lynn St. and Wilson Blvd.  Local Rosslyn celebrities will flip a switch that will turn on festive roof-top lights on nearly 40 buildings in Rosslyn.  The event, which runs from 5:15pm to 6:30pm, will also feature complimentary chili, cider, cookies, and live music. Hum along as music groups Beltway Brass and Snowday perform holiday tunes.
To make this event even more special, the Rosslyn Business Improvement District is sponsoring a specially commissioned W3FI projection on Artisphere's dome.  W3FI, "a digital experience revealing the connections between our online + offline selves," is opening this very same night in Artisphere's Terrace Gallery.  The free opening reception at Artisphere will run from 7-10pm.  Get thee S3LF to this illuminating set of happenings!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Rosslyn great location for kite-flying

A magnificent kite visible in the trees of near Rosslyn's Netherlands Carillon is just one of many kites regularly seen flying in this large park.  Kite-flyers enjoy the park's wide expanse of grass, the gentle sloping hill, and the spectacular view of Washington.  The flag over the nearby Iwo Jima Memorial provides a useful indicator of the wind direction.

Rosslyn is deeply connected to aviation leadership. Rosslyn was the site of Orville Wright's history-making flight in 1908.  Rosslyn remains a leading location for airplane watching.  Rosslyn will soon be a unique metro hub serving both Dulles International Airport (silver line) and Reagan National Airport (blue line).  No other location can match Rosslyn's connections to aviation.

printing-press malfunction temporarily suspends Tribune

The Ode Street Tribune's journalist, who is also required to set type for the Tribune's printing press, has reported to management that the paper has jammed in the press.  Management has ordered the journalist to fix the press immediately.  Publication of the Tribune should resume tomorrow.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Sunday's video


let's talk trash

Much trash other that bottles and cans are being put into Rosslyn's on-street bottle/can recycling bins.  Follow the lead of the Ode Street Tribune's Investigative Reporting Unit and take a look inside the recycling bins. You'll see an amazing variety of trash. 

Arlington has single-stream recycling, so the trash mixture doesn't prevent it from being recycled.  However, trash other than bottles and cans could be compacted in the adjacent solar garbage compactor.   The solar garbage compactor is very impressive technology that is not commonly found outside of Rosslyn.  Make the best possible use of Rosslyn's special amenities!