Tuesday, January 25, 2011

watch out for Shady Brook Farms "all natural" turkey chops


In a recent shopping trip to Rosslyn's mysterious and intriguing underground Safeway, I bought some some Shady Brook Farms "farm fresh" "all natural" turkey chops.  Unfortunately I didn't notice some extremely small print on the very bottom right of the front of the package: "enhanced with up to 10% solution*".  Small text on the reverse side, below the highlighted nutrition box, explains: "solution ingredients: turkey broth, salt, sugar."  So this turkey contains up to 10% turkey broth, salt, and sugar.  Euuuck... 


In the carefully considered opinion of the Ode Street Tribune's editorial board, injecting a turkey with up to 10% of solution containing salt and sugar makes a product neither farm fresh nor all natural. The company behind the Shady Brook Farms brand is Cargill, a huge, highly diversified private corporation with revenues over $100 billion.  The Ode Street Tribune summons the full force of its editorial muscle to call on Cargill to repudiate its Shady Brook Farms brand and cease injecting turkey with salt and sugar.  Moreover, the Tribune calls on Cargill to apologize to all residents of Rosslyn and any other locations around the world where Shady Brook Farms "farm fresh" "all natural" turkey chops have been sold. 

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dude. What do you expect? It's called "Shady" Brook Farms!

Anonymous said...

Kudos to the Ode Street Tribune for this fine piece of reporting. It no doubt took a sharp eye to find and read the fine print on that package. The government bureaucrats who wrote the rules requiring that the information be on the package also deserve credit. Without the work of such bureaucrats we would have no idea what are eating. Your readers are glad that the editorial staff of the Ode Street Tribune is conscious of their help. This will insure a long life for the Ode Street Tribunhe.

neil said...

You sound like a tosser. Read the fucking label next time.