Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Tribune management addresses medieval holidays

After returning from their August vacation, the Ode Street Tribune's publisher, managing editor, deputy managing editors, assistant managing editors, department managers, and other managerial functionaries held an emergency meeting to consider reports about the Tribune's failure to publish on the previous three Mondays. The source of the problem was tracked to the Tribune's journalist. He claimed that those Mondays were holy days that no one knew. 

"Holy day or holiday, I don't care," harrumphed the Tribune's publisher. "We've got to move the Tribune out of the Middle Ages and into twentieth-century journalistic best practice."  "Here, here," exclaimed all the editors in unison. "Hear me! Twentieth-century journalistic best practice!" "Here, here," repeated again all the editors. Then a front-page sub-department deputy assistant editor softly lamented, "We can't fire the journalist, because we haven't received any top-rate respondents to our job posting for a journalist."  A silent tension fell over the crowd. 

"Without Rosslyn local journalism, democracy is finished," declared the Tribune publisher. He paused, and then said decisively, "Threaten to break his shoulder if he doesn't work on Mondays."  "Will do immediately," responded the managing editor. The meeting then quickly dispersed. 

The Ode Street Tribune management team is confident that the Tribune's new labor relations strategy will ensure that the Tribune is published on Mondays in the future.


Anonymous said...

It is great seeing the Ode Street Tribune management, stepping up and shouldering the responsibility for solving this problem. It appears that management has put their shoulder to the wheel and is moving forward. The broad shoulders of the management team are well suited to shouldering this problem.
Breaking this log jam with their shoulder is commendable; however, in the future, I suggest moving more solely so that there are less broken bones.
Management now needs take it easy for awhile so that any broken bones can heal. My suggestion, enjoy this slow time.

Anonymous said...

Maybe there is a lesson for the management of the Ode Street Tribune in "what" happened. Possibly, the lesson for the management of the Ode Street Tribune is that management should slow down and take more holidays. Speed is not the only way to enjoy life.

Anonymous said...

As Jude was told, the movement you need is on your shoulder