Friday, June 26, 2015

Tribune newsboys ordered to go on strike

After recently enjoying the Disney musical Newsies,the Ode Street Tribune's publisher instructed the Tribune's managing editor to order the Tribune's newsboys to go on strike.

"The newsboys strike of 1899 made Joseph Pulitzer famous," said the Tribune's publisher. "Who would have ever heard of Putzer if it weren't for that strike?" "Porky, tell our g*dd**n newsboys to get out on strike or I'll fire their asses!"

"But but sir, that's just not possible," said the managing editor.

"Don't but me or you'll get your head cracked open," said the publisher, known throughout the newsroom for his concrete-headed style of decision-making. "Cut their pay, add some extra copy to make the paper heavier, print a Saturday edition, do whatever you gotta do to get them to go on strike."

"Of course sir, yes sir, those are all excellent ideas, sir. We'll have all the Tribune's newsboys out on strike pronto. You understand, sir, that with the newsboys on strike, printing the Tribune isn't worthwhile. The journalist, along with all the division heads, deputy editors, editors, and other administrative functionaries will have to be put on vacation status until the strike can be resolved," said the managing editor.

"I want to be in a musical," said the Tribune's publisher fiercely.

Publication of the Ode Street Tribune will cease as of today on account of its newsboys strike. Publication will resume as soon as a plot for a musical has been established or the strike is otherwise resolved. Local residents are urged to petition local opera company UrbanArias to try to arrange for an intervention. We hope that the matter will be settled by early July.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Crystal City celebrates Rosslyn hero with "Charlie Wilson's War" showing

Crystal City's outdoor film festival will host a free screening of "Charlie Wilson's War" this coming Monday evening, June 29. Charlie Wilson was a congressman who lived in Rosslyn along with other leading political figures. The movie describes Charlie Wilson's life and his pivotal role in securing funding for Afghan resistance to the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan. By showing this film, Crystal seems to be trying to associate herself with some of Rosslyn's glamor.

postal box near Rosslyn's Highlands Park

The postal boxes that used to be at the corner of Wilson Blvd. and N. Lynn St. have been removed. With the completion of construction in front of Rosslyn's beloved Artisphere, the postal box has returned to that location. A postal box is also right in front of Rosslyn's Highland Park. If you have to get a letter or bill out immediately, these are your go-to locations in Rosslyn.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

mushrooms along Rosslyn's Marshall Dr.

The north side of Rosslyn's Marshall Dr. now features an outstanding array of natural mushrooms. While anyone can appreciate the beauty of mushrooms, scientific analysis of mushrooms requires extensive education, a wide variety of equipment, and years of experience. To provide better reporting on Rosslyn mushrooms, the Tribune is considering making an offer to an Oregon-based mushroom expert to join the Tribune's staff here in Rosslyn.
In the evening, the grassy area behind Rosslyn's Netherlands Carillon is also an excellent place to see fireflies.

Friday, June 19, 2015

Georgetown waterfront offers outstanding views of Rosslyn

The Georgetown Waterfront Park has emerged as a premier spot for viewing Rosslyn. Rosslyn's majestic skyline floats above the Potomac river like a mystical city beckoning with opportunity.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

mushrooms return to Rosslyn tree

Mushrooms have again appeared at the base of the tree in the courtyard of the historically important Westmoreland Terrace Condos. These mushrooms appear to be similar to the ones that appeared in 2013, but somewhat different from the ones that appeared in 2014.

These mushrooms are unlikely to attack humans, especially if they're not provoked. While some like to ridicule mushrooms and mushroom management, mushrooms help to reduce global warming.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

KidicalMass family friendly bike ride from Rosslyn this Sunday

KidicalMass Arlington has organized a family friendly bike ride this Sunday at 5:15pm starting from Rosslyn's threatened Highlands Park. The ride will explore flatter and quieter parts of Rosslyn and venture to the trail head of a secret hiking trail. The ride will finish at Rosslyn's Heavy Seas Alehouse where participants can remain for a social dinner.

Keep an eye on KidicalMass Arlington for relaxed, social bike-riding fun for the whole family. It's just the opposite of a weekend warrior competitive cycling sufferfest. KidicalMass is:

Casual family bike rides -- slow paced, on calm streets and/or trails, very easy, no drop.

Everyone is welcome: adults with kids on seats, in trailers, on long tails, in box bikes, on trail-a-bikes, and/or on tandems; older kids on their own bikes; even adults on bikes by themselves.

The rides will be slow (around 6 mph), short (3-4 miles) and easy (no hills above 5% grade if at all possible).

This is a great way to experience real life in Rosslyn.